For All Of Eternity
by Playne Jayne Ley
Summary: Bella, the love of my life, my soul mate, was gone.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyer. _

_Summary: What if Edward never came back to Forks for Bella? What if she married Jacob Black? How would Edward handle her death?_

_A/N: I was crying (again) while reading New Moon (again) and started thinking about if Bella had decided on living her life with Jacob when Edward didn't come back. How would he feel? I know it's been done before, but I really wanted to write it. Nothin' wrong with that. Read it, and tell me what you think of it._

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**For All Of Eternity**

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Bella, the love of my life, my soul mate, was gone. The thought was crushing, crippling. I stood in front of her fresh grave, trying not to think of her now cold body rotting away deep underground while I still stood here. I tried not to think about the fact that I would never see her beautiful smile again. I would never again see her eyes light up when she was happy or her cheeks flush pink from embarrassment. I fell to my knees, leaning my forehead against her stone. I hadn't read the words on it, only her name. I didn't want to read about how she spent her life with someone else. That she was a loving mother to children that were not mine. I only wanted to grieve for the only person I could ever possibly love for eternity.

It should have never ended this way. Not for the first time, I regretted how weak I had been when she asked me to change her. To make her like me: eternal. I should have never left her standing there in those woods. I left to protect her, to let her live a normal life. I don't think I ever really meant to stay away from her. Part of me always meant to come back, to change her and be with her for the rest of existence. It was excruciating that I never got the chance to do so.

It took me two agonizing years before I gave into my need to see her again. I convinced myself I was going only to make sure she was alright, that she had stayed true to her word not to do anything stupid. I reasoned that if she was happy, I could walk away, let her be. I had to keep telling myself that I hoped she was happy and moving on, but I knew that wasn't the truth. I had hoped to see her still mourning my departure. If she was still waiting for me, I would have stayed; I would have never left her side again.

She wasn't waiting, though. It was a rather warm summer in Forks when I came back for her. I went to her house first, snuck into her room. The window was still unlocked, as if it was waiting for me to climb back through like I used to. Her room was basically the same, except for one difference. There were pictures of her and that mutt from the reservation, Jacob Black all over the room. My eyes immediately zoned in on the most devastating photo. Bella, my Bella, was kissing that _dog_. His arms were wrapped tightly around her small body, crushing her to him, while her arms were tangled in his hair. She was enjoying it. It was a normal kiss that I could have never given her. My heart felt like it was being shattered into a million pieces.

As I stood in her room, numb with my pain, I smelled them, Jacob and my Bella. I wanted to rush out and kill him, but couldn't bring myself to move. I hid in the shadows and looked out the window. Jacob was pulling up to Bella's house in his rebuilt Rabbit, and my love climbed out of _his_ car. She took my breath away. She was as unbelievably gorgeous as I remembered. Her long brown hair fell down her back in a silky wave. I longed to brush my hands through those locks one more time. She was slimmer, wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a purple v-cut tee-shirt that hugged her tightly. I could see her wide brown eyes from here, sparkling as she smiled. A blush was on her cheeks. I closed my eyes, committing her image to my memory. When I opened them again, Jacob had climbed out of the car and was holding her tightly against him. I wanted to look away, but somehow couldn't. If I thought the picture was devastating to my heart, it was nothing compared to how I felt when he lowered his head to touch his lips with hers. I thought nothing could get worse than that, but I was wrong.

"I love you, Bells," he whispered against her lips. He had probably meant it to be something only she could hear, but I heard it. I held my breath, hoping with everything I was that she wouldn't say those words back to him.

"I love you, too, Jake." My vision blurred as my body felt like it was ripping apart. Bella was happy, she had moved on, she loved someone new. I wanted to kill Jacob Black, to bleed him dry, but instead, I ran. I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could.

I'm not truly sure where I ended up. It was somewhere in Africa, and very secluded. I curled onto the ground, all dirt, and laid there. The only time I moved was to hunt when the thirst got to be unbearable. Time went by, unnoticed by me. My mind was constantly filled with thoughts of Bella. Was she still happy with Jacob? Did she miss me? Did she _love_ me still? I reminisced on every single second I spent with Bella. I knew I was a broken man, I knew I was a shell. How could I go on living if I didn't have Isabella Swan? What was the point in life? After so long, I started contemplating ending my existence. I remembered the conversation Bella and I had shared shortly before I left her, about the Volturi.

It was Alice who saved me. She had a vision of my demise, and worried, tracked me down before I could do anything. She picked me up and brought me back to Carlisle. My family watched over me with worried thoughts. They comforted me, brought me out of my shell. I found out that I had been away for five long years. The news had shocked me, made me wonder things that made me want to become the shell again, to not feel again. Was Bella still with Jacob? Had she married him? Did she have children? I had to go back to check. I knew that it would probably kill me, but my mind was made up. Alice came with me. She didn't give me much of a choice in the matter, but I was thankful for her company. It ended up being my saving grace.

They lived on the reservation, where I wasn't allowed to go. I wanted to see her so badly that I was ready to throw caution to the wind and break the treaty, but Alice held me back. She reasoned that Bella had to come into town eventually, so we waited for her. We waited in the woods by Charlie's house. She drove up in an old Mercury Cougar, with Jacob in the passenger seat. I could hear a little voice babbling in the back seat of the car about a Barbie doll. I closed my eyes as Alice put a hand on my shoulder. I breathed in and opened my eyes. They were climbing out of the car, while Charlie was coming out of the house. Bella still looked as lovely as ever, but older. She had a frazzled look about her. Her brown hair was cut short, just barely brushing the top of her shoulders. She had put on a little weight, probably from having the child that she had just pulled out of the back seat. I stared at the two year old little girl. She looked just like her mother, but with the dark skin of her Quileute heritage. Bella had a daughter. It was too much to put my head around.

"Grampaw!" the little girl yelled excitedly. She had her mother's smile. Bella laughed that musical laugh that melted my heart as the small girl struggled to get out of her arms. Jacob laughed, ruining my moment. I glared at the disgusting man. Charlie had said something to the girl, but I was too lost in my hatred to notice what he said. I felt Alice stiffen next to me, which caused me to look at her. Her hand was pressed against her mouth in shock.

"_She named her after me? Oh, Bella…_" I heard Alice's thoughts clearly. My world spun. She hadn't forgotten about us! She obviously still loved us enough to name her daughter after Alice. Or was it just Alice? I felt a smile coming onto my face, but it quickly left. It didn't matter, she was still with Jacob. She still looked happy with Jacob.

I took off once again, leaving behind the girl I loved with someone else. Alice followed me, keeping me from going off on my own. She was worried that if she left me, I would do something stupid. I didn't blame her. I was ready to murder that dog. How _dare_ he put his filthy paws all over my sweet, innocent Bella? How dare he think he had any right to have children with her? I was shaking with rage at the thought of his hands on Bella's body, at the idea that he'd had sex with her. At the same time, though, I thought of how beautiful she would look with her stomach large with a baby. I wished so hard that it could have been mine. I put all my energy into wishing that things had been different, that I was the one going to visit Charlie with her.

Alice took me away from Forks without seeing Bella again. She didn't think I could handle seeing her around her new family again. She was probably right, so I didn't argue. I didn't go back into my shell again, though, as much as I wish I could. The thought that she still thought about us changed how I felt about her being with Jacob. Maybe, she still did love me. Maybe she had just grown to love Jacob, too.

I went back to see her once a year. I made sure that she never saw me, or knew that I had been there. I was just content to watch her, to know that she was happy, and still thinking of me. She went through three other pregnancies, each one made her just as breathtaking as I imagined her to be when she was with child. She had two other girls and one boy, each one named after my family. The girls were named after Esme and Rosalie, while the boy shared my name. My heart swelled when I first heard the name whisper from her lips. Esme and Rosalie Black were twins, who looked like their father, sadly, but her Edward looked just like her. I was always surprised to find that I was truly happy for her. I could hate Jacob all I wanted, but I couldn't hate her or her children. I couldn't wish them ill at all. I saw her four children grow older, aging slowly with Bella. It hurt me when I could see her first wrinkles. I saw her hair start to turn gray. I saw her start to get weaker. But even as the signs of aging appeared on her face, turning her into an old woman, she was beautiful to me. I thought about how she used to worry about what I would think of her when she got old, and I smiled every time. How silly that worry seemed to me, now that I knew that I found her just as stunning then as I did when she was a young seventeen year old girl.

Alice was the one that told me she had died. The members of my family had all gone their separate ways again, now that they knew I wasn't going to run off to Italy to get myself killed. Esme and Carlisle were on Isle Esme for a few months of leisure time. Rosalie and Emmett were in Chicago with me, while Alice and Jasper had traveled back down to Texas. I was laying on our couch listening to Rosalie scream at Emmett for something stupid he had done when my phone rang.

"Edward…" I sat up as I heard Alice's voice laced with grief. I knew it had something to do with Bella, and the news was very bad. Was she sick? Had she died?

"What is it?" I demanded from her. Rosalie stopped yelling at Emmett at the sound of my urgent tone. I prayed to whatever god that would listen to me that the next words out of Alice's mouth were not what I was thinking.

"She's gone, Edward…" My phone dropped out of my hand, but I could still hear what Alice was telling me. She sounded confused, as if not believing what she was telling me. "Bella… She's dead, Edward."

I ran all the way to Forks, hoping Alice had gotten this one thing wrong. I knew she hadn't, but I didn't want to believe my Bella was dead. She had been getting older, so I had been worrying about it coming, but I hadn't been expecting it for a few more years. She had died at the age of seventy-three.

I sat by her grave for hours, just thinking about her. There was so much I should have done different; that I wish could have happened differently. The rain that was constantly coming down seemed to be pouring down harder than normal. My clothes were soaked and dirty from the mud, but I didn't care. I was too broken to care. I heard someone come up behind me, but I didn't look up. I couldn't bring myself to move. I knew who it was. It was Jacob Black.

"She always loved you, you know," he said quietly to me, his voice old and tired. I turned my head and looked at his weathered face. His once black hair had turned white; his tan skin was wrinkled and sagging. He looked so much older than Bella ever had. "She was heartbroken when you left, and I helped put her back together. She loved me, but not like she did you. You were her soul mate. I used to hate you for it, but I can't any longer."

"Why?" I croaked out.

"I can't hate you because she loved you. I may not have been able to hold all of her heart, but I'm happy that I got a part of it. I'm happy that you let us live our lives together." I stared at him in shock.

"Did you know that I…?"

"Yes, I know that you used to come here to see her. Thank you, for letting us be together. You could have taken her from me so easily."

"She was happy with you. You had a family together. I loved her too much to interfere in her life again. She deserved her happiness." I smiled a bit as Jacob nodded. His mind was whirling with memories of his life with Bella. I could feel the love he had for her. Suddenly, I didn't hate Jacob Black any longer. He wasn't a dog, or a mutt, or anything bad. He was just the man who loved my Bella enough to be with her, even if she could never love him the same way. He reached a wrinkled hand into his coat and pulled out an envelope. It was rumpled and very slightly discolored. I could see my name written in her messy scrawl on the outside.

"She wrote this for you, about ten years back. Asked me to give it to you, if I outlived her," Jacob said, wincing as he said the last part. I grimaced as well, but took the envelope from his hand. He nodded to me, and turned away from me. He walked out of the cemetery slowly, limping as he went. I watched him until he got into his car and drove away. I looked at the envelope in my hands, and then at the tombstone. It was an elegant, smooth black stone; the writing on it was graceful and neat. There was an impressive display of flowers from her family and friends, showing their love for her.

"Isabella Marie Black. September 13, 1987 to October 3, 2060. Beloved wife and mother," I read the words out loud, clutching her note to my cold, hard chest. I tucked it into my jacket, trying to save it from the rain.

When I was safely back in my old house, I took the envelope out again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I broke the seal carefully. I didn't want to rip it even a little bit. There was a folded piece of paper inside, along with three photos. I took the picture outs, and looked at them. One was of Bella with her four children when they were young still. The second was of me, standing in Charlie's kitchen. The last one was of her and I. It was the one that Charlie took of us shortly before I left her. I flinched at how cold I appeared, and how sad Bella looked. I remembered how worried she was about me when that picture was taken. I hated that I had caused her so much pain. I stared at the pictures for a long time before finally opening her letter.

_My Dearest Edward,_

_I love you. I never stopped loving you. There was never a day in my life that I didn't think about you. You're my soul mate, Edward. You complete me, and because you weren't there, I was never truly whole. I hope you don't hate me for marrying Jacob. He loves me, and I do love him, in a way. He was there for me when I was the biggest wreck. After you left, I was broken. I turned into a zombie, and Jacob helped bring me out of my depression. He became my best friend, my sun. When you didn't come back, I made a decision to try and love Jacob. We've had a happy life together, and we had four lovely children. I named each one after your family. My oldest is named Alice Mary, and then there are the twins, Rosalie Renee and Esme Elizabeth. My son, Edward Anthony, is named after you. I wished for a little boy with every pregnancy, because I wanted to give you a namesake. I know Jacob felt a little put out by the names I chose, but he understood how much I missed and loved you all. I put a picture of me and my children in with letter, to show you how beautiful they are. I hope you'll take them to your family and show them as well. Tell them I loved them so much. They were my family, too. I also put the picture I took of you in Charlie's kitchen in here. I always loved that picture of you. I found it under my floorboards, along with all of the other things you hid from me, when I moved out of Charlie's house. You looked so dazzling and warm. Whenever I felt down, I'd take this picture out and look at it. I'd instantly feel better. The third picture is one of us. It's the only picture that was ever taken of the two of us. Though it's not the best picture, I admit, I still like to know that we had at least one photo of us together. I'm giving these to you so you remember me better. I don't want you to ever forget me. Remember that I have always loved you, and I will always love you; for all of eternity. We'll find each other again one day, I promise. I love you, my darling Edward._

_Yours until the end of the world,_

_Bella_

I sat there for what seemed to be days, staring at that small piece of paper in my hands and the three photographs on my lap. My grief was so crippling, I couldn't move. I missed her so much it hurt every part of me. I stood finally, and walked to my old bookshelf. I placed the letter and photos in a small marble jewelry box that sat next to my books. In the box were pictures of Bella I had stolen from Charlie over the years, the notes we shared while we were in class together, and my mother's wedding ring, that I had once hopped to give her. I closed the box, but didn't put it back on the shelf. I held it close to my chest, and closed my eyes. I pictured Bella, in the meadow, the first day I brought her there. That was my favorite memory of her, and that's how I wanted to remember her forever.

"I love you, Bella. For all of eternity," I whispered quietly.

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**The End**

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_It may not have been as dramatic as Edward is in the book, but I like how I did this, I think. _

_Tell me what YOU think, though. I always enjoy reviews._

_Love, Ley._


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